So cheating has always been a thing! It’s nothing new. But the hype that surrounds this act of unfaithfulness is absolutely sickening! People are literally proud knowing that they are the side chick or guy! Like why not choose to be someone’s first choice! I mean I would like to know that I am not a hidden secret. I would be disgusted with myself knowing that I was a home-wrecker. I’ve seen first hand the damage it has done to families. When you’re a child I can personally tell you its not an environment you want to be around when shit hits the fan. And for the people in the committed relationship, its quite simple! END THE RELATIONSHIP IF YOU AINT ABOUT IT, YOU AINT THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT NEEDS OR A HEART! So as I am writing this post and I am both angry & disgusted. So here’s how this rant post started…
This weekend I decided to chill with my friend. She briefly told me about her guy friends and she said they were sex freaks and would always talk about sex. Its whatever, I mean what guy isn’t a little freaky and I love asking sex questions. You know the saying knowledge is power! I am definitely not the type to go head over heels for someone on first interaction.[ I am the type that loves substance and intellect to be attracted to someone. So if sex is the only thing we got, I can tell you the relationship wont even last 2 weeks.] Plus my heart is a little guarded so though I maybe physically attracted to someone, my sexual desires never seem to be leading any of my decisions when it comes to a guy. [And you may say what about the one nightstands, that’s for single people.] The night goes on and I realize that obviously its a set up and there was a need to start coupling up. Anyways the drinking continues and inhibitions become non-existent and I become very blunt when I am tipsy. So there’s all this back and forth flirting. More flirting from the guy more than me. So I asked standard questions, ‘how old are you?, what do you do?, do you have kids? are you even single?’ Like questions that I think are very valuable in knowing what turn the night is about to have. So I am asking my questions and this guy said he’s in his late 30s with four kids. In my head I’m like dang I’m not about the baby mama drama but maybe he’s a cool dude. Get to the last question and this dude says he’s married! At this point I don’t know whether I’m mad at my friend for even introducing me to this guy or just want to slap him in the face and tell him to go home to his family. But the mood definitely switched! He kept saying that he likes to give trouble and its just sex! Like dude go home to your wife and let her take care of your needs! So I’m no longer questioning him, shit literally went from 0 to 100 because it now became an interrogation. He’s been married for eighteen years and has four kids with this wonderful woman and had the nerve to tell me the sex with his wife is boring! I am under the assumption this lady is comfortable with her life and don’t really want to stir the pot. But your husband is out all manner of hours, does not get in until 5am or 6am and that does not raise alarm. I know Caribbean women, we crazy and I am not looking to be the next victim of acid to the face. I am a very nice person, so at this point I’ve cut off his alcohol supply and started giving him water to drink. Like I am absolutely angry at what he’s doing but not a total bitch to want to see anyone’s actions spiral out of control. And yes he’s a grown man, he can take care of himself, he got his friends. But I needed to have a conversation with this man so I need him sober. I’ve been cheated on before and I am not justifying anyone actions but dumb shit happens when you’re in a relationship with someone young that’s in the prime of their life and parties a lot. For some, being in a relationship with one person isn’t enticing and some just fall weak to their sexual desires. It happens and hearts are broken but at least you don’t have to spend the rest of your life with the person. But marriage vows are sacred. You went before God and chose to spend the rest of your life with this partner. And when things aren’t working out, you talk to each other. Communication is so key! I recommended he seriously talk to his wife because I can imagine all relationships hit a road bump. But if the first reaction is to go out and have sex with multiple other partners, this only causes a ripple affect of a shitload of problems. And can you imagine only 2 out of the 7 guys were actually not in a committed relationship. It literally blew my shit, like what are these 5 married men doing! And here I am thinking that with age came wisdom. sigh
So for all you infidels out there, I have one thing to say and its GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
– From a Young Woman Trying To Find Pure Love & Intimacy