I am a big advocate in preaching acceptance! I believe we were all created beautifully and equally.
So when I am placed in a position where someone talks negatively about another person’s appearance I get ticked off. I am definitely not all high and mighty, I’ve fallen short and found myself laughing at Instagram’s Atown and Welven. But talking negatively about their appearances does nothing but hurt feelings and in no way reflects positively to who I am as a person.
Recently I was talking with a few friend’s about our future kids. For all the guys that are probably in a relationship that are reading this, 80% of the time women talk about their future kids; how they will possibly look and what features we wish not to be dominant. Just random girl talk.
Anyways I am not opposed to how my child would look because in no way can I predict the future and I would love my child no matter what. So the conversation goes on and I stated I wanted a child with lots of hair. I am obsessed with hair length and volume. It is just a preference of mine that I am hoping my child gets. I didn’t state if I wanted my kid to have curly, wavy or kinky hair. I just said thick & long hair. So my friend commented right after, ‘well I need my kid to be light skin and pretty’ so like reflex I commented and said “well why cant you have a dark skin child that’s pretty”. She then proceeded to say that she doesn’t want her child to be ‘black like night.‘ At this moment, I am appalled but she has the right to express her opinion. My other friends jumped in and began to agree and said they only want to be with light skin men. I know everyone has a type they are physically attracted to but there is a fundamental problem when one starts to degrade another person’s complexion as ugly. We are all black girls so it is quite shocking to hear this coming from my friends. At this point in the conversation, I am just processing everyone’s views. The conversation switches. One friend mentioned an ex that was dating this darker girl. Another friend said and I quote, “I cant believe he left you for that ugly girl, she’s so black” . At this point I am livid! I quickly intervened and said don’t call her ugly, she beautiful and he obviously likes her. My other friend said, ” I cant believe he left a beautiful browning for a dark girl, his loss”. I wont lie, I am seriously considering why I am even friends with these girls. I know I am no Beyoncé and definitely darker in comparison to them. But if they think so negatively about their own race of people, makes me wonder what they think about me.
I know there is someone out there for everybody. No one was created to be alone in the world. But this negativity needs to stop. You wont find everyone appealing and attractive. But harsh words truly have consequences. Self-hate is real. We need to stop bringing down others. Someone can be truly gorgeous on the outside but extremely ugly on the inside. We need to be beautiful inside and outside.