” In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads, but they all make us who we are. And in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn’t be the person we are. So just live. Make mistakes, have wonderful memories but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been and most importantly where it is you’re going”
We all tend to find ourselves stuck in road bumps in life. Some we can drive out of on our own. Others we need the extra push to get out of. But never ever stay in the bad bump, it’s then that we end up making bad decisions that cause us to be permanently stuck. Bad decisions are made at some point in our lives, whether its a bad tattoo, awful hair dye job or done something dumb because of a guy or girl. Some decisions can be more extreme that can result in being arrested or death. But if you feel like you are in that extreme please find someone positive to help you. Because bad decision can seriously alter your life forever.
In my junior year of college I was in a pretty rough spot. The work load was overwhelming, having financial difficulties and dealing with family member’s death. I didn’t really talk to anybody about it but when I lost Aunt Marcia its at that moment I lost myself. I remember I was at the mall when I heard the news and its like my entire body numbed. How could God take someone so young and kindhearted away. I had not cried but on that same day I got a tattoo. It was the first step to my downward spiral. I wanted to numb the pain so I started taking my friend’s Adderall to get through the study sessions and exam stress. On weekends I would be taking weed and molly and drinking alcohol. My body was in a constant state of numbness just trying to avoid the pain I was feeling. I was honestly not dealing with my problems the healthiest way. A few weeks later, my Aunt Susie passed away from a heart attack and I was so chalked up on alcohol and hallucinogenic I don’t remember even being phased that I had lost another person so sudden.
I wont forget the weekend that changed all decisions to come. It was a Friday and I was texting my friend that I wanted to try acid. He told me it was a whole day high so we should do it on Saturday. So on Friday night we were suppose go pick it up but I had a paper to finish so I couldn’t go with him, so a next girl had went with him instead. That night she got hit by a car. (She survived but got a few pins and needles in her hip). You would think I would have taken that has my wake up call. That Saturday night I was ready to get high and drunk. But for some reason I just didn’t want to smoke, so all my friends were getting high in the car. There was a bunch of weed in trunk and splifs and bongs stuffed in the compartment of the car. Got to the club and was having the time of my life or so I think I was. Its the end of the night and we all got in the car but it still smelt baked. As soon as we pulled out of the driving lot we were all stopped by cops. I didn’t know If I was to have aneurism right there on the spot but I knew we were all fucked. A few of my friends got charged with drug possession. The driver got a chalk load of charges. I was so fortunate that I only got sent away with a warning. I think it was only then that I realized how far down the rabbit hole I went. I made an appointment with the school counselor and only then did I actually cry about the death of my aunts. I had so much pent up and trying to deal with it on my own that I was turning to drugs & alcohol as the wrong outlet for my problems.
I am sharing this for anyone that’s in a bump and are just going through one bad decision after another. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.