LIOG… Embarassing Sex Story πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³

Well if you’ve read any of my posts, you will know I don’t hide any aspect of my life. I will share the good and the bad. But I’ve been reluctant to share this one, since I’ve only told two people. But if I can talk about the guy that broke my heart, I can definitely share this story lol.

  • Disclaimer Though this story was suppose to lead to sex, it did not end with sex

I am literally cringing at the thought of sharing. So this is what happened…

[No matter how much  that guy had broken my heart, I must confess I had some interesting experiences with him.]

Its a Friday night and we had just come back from dinner. I got myself something small and light to eat because I wasn’t about to pig out with what I had planned in mind. I had bought myself a sexy black laced Victoria Secret lingerie and was really feeling myself. I was pre-gaming with some seductive music prior to the date. You know really getting myself in the mood.

*Mega Face Palms*. giphyry

If only I could foresee the future to avoid the catastrophe of rest of the night.

So dinner was good. We weren’t in the same field of work but somehow we had a lot of things we shared in common. So our conversations were always random but never awkward. So get back to his place and I’m still in my zone. All touchy feely, trying to get me some D. You know the expression ‘know your limit’ or ‘stay in your lane’. *Shaking my head*. I should have taken that with a grain of salt because my ass decides that I am going to striptease my clothes off.

sih

I slowly walk over to the stereo and started playing Dance For You by BeyoncΓ©. Honestly the mood was right and I was killing it. I was tapping into my inner BeyoncΓ© and just slaying it. I can dance but to attempt a full on striptease routine I probably should have left to professionals. So here is when everything went to shits.

So his bed aligns perfectly with the bathroom door. So he’s laying on the bed and I’m at the bathroom door dancing. To add to the impending disaster I had on 6inch heels. I stepped back into the bathroom to spin and dip but that’s not what the bathroom rug decided would happen. I did a halfie spin and lost complete balance. In my head I was already like ‘shit! I’m about to sprain my ankle’. So I decided I was going to alleviate some of the pain and grab the shower curtain. He should have invested in that Mimi Faust shower rod because as soon as I grabbed it, that shit tore down and I bumped my head on the edge of the shower door. He was in complete panic while I sat there wishing I could borrow Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. You know that pause when you realize that the person is okay. He began laughing, like tears were rolling from his eyes! Like I was so embarrassed I started laughing. Complete mood kill. Within seconds I had this huge ass bump on my head.

He picked me up off the floor and placed me on the bed. He left the room and went to the kitchen. I was no longer in the mood so I threw on his shirt and tried to hold back the tears. He came back in still snickering with a bag of frozen peas in his hand. He kissed my bump and then placed the frozen bag on my head. I honestly wanted to disappear.

To this day, I’ve never worn that lingerie again and I have a minor panic attack whenever I hear BeyoncΓ©’s song Dance for You.

 

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