LIOG…”Shit the Goat!”๐Ÿ!ย 

Its Story time!

My childhood is filled with a bunch of crazy stories, its like I decided to live my days like an episode of Rugrats. I’ve always had a wild imagination, so I would be coming up with the craziest games for my best friend and I to play. Of course, we would get in the most trouble because I was always trying to find some loophole in my mom rules.

So this crazy story happened the summer of  2001 in Jamaica. I had just received my first pair of roller blades and I was pumped about learning how to use them. I had gotten a scooter the year before and was quite an expert at using it. *Side Note Scooters and Heelys were the thing to have as a child, that and every new gaming console๐ŸŽฎ*

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My friend enjoyed coming over my house to use my scooter. I didn’t mind, this summer was about learning to rollerblade. At my house, the pavement wasn’t the smoothest and I was having the hardest time learning to skate. There was a club house/ sports club in the community, its a little abandoned with the occasional cleaning from the caretaker. So I figured that it would be safe to slide on the smoothe surfaces at the sports club. That day when my friend came over, I was  over selling the sports club telling her she would be able to go super fast on the scooter because it was better paved. So she’s super pumped and I was ready to scheme my way into going to the club house.

I placed on my roller blades and began skating on the verandah. Of course, this pissed off my mom as she shouted I should go outside and play. I said I need a smoother pavement and wanted to go the sports club. She was so pissed at the wheel marks on her tiles that she said sure. She didn’t even think twice as she just wanted me outside the house. In this small window of time before my mom realized where she was allowing us to go, my friend and I bolted to the sports club. With skates in hand I was pretty happy my plan had went off without a hitch. What was suppose to be a 7min walk turned into a 20min walk because I had made up some stupid game.

So we got to the sports club, it was around 3pm in the afternoon and everything seemed normal. I placed on my skates and was able to skate on the surface a little better. I wasn’t really paying attention to my friend as she rode the scooter around the other side of the building. It got real quiet for a second as I could no longer hear the scooter wheels gliding on the floor. Within seconds I looked back and saw her with scooter in hands screaming, “RUUUUUUNNNNNN“. I panicked for a second until I saw four dogs running directly behind her. To be honest, to this day I am unable to run in skates but that day I definitely ran. We ran to the other side of the building trying to out trick the dogs, thinking we could take the second exit. EPIC FUCKING FAIL! Another dog was already waiting for us. I saw a tree and yelled, “Climb!”. Keep in mind the whole time I had on roller blades that I hardly  knew how to use. So we get in the tree and I’m freaking the fuck out because the dogs showed no sign of moving and there was no one around to help us. We sat in the tree for an hour while my friend began crying that the dogs will never let us leave. I was freaking out but I am not your typical child, I was thinking about escape routes.

Behind the sport club there was a barbed wire fence and a gully. The gully led into a ditch and went onto a main road. Some goats were tied up on the side of the gully. I told my friend if we climbed higher in the tree we could jump over the barbed fence. In hindsight this made absolute sense to me. My friend already felt she had nothing to loose so she was ready to jump with me. I threw the roller blades off and placed back on my shoes. Thank God  I grabbed them up in the chaos. Oh by the way, my friend climbed in the tree with the scooter lol. So we threw the roller blades and scooter over the fence and prepared ourselves for the jump. “1,2,3 JUMP!” I yelled. We both fell flat on our butts and were fortunate that we broke no bones. What I failed to calculate was the steepness of the gully. I tried to get up and slid all the way to the bottom of the hill. I slid threw  ton of goat shit and thorns all the way to the ditch. My friend sat on the side of the gully laughing frantically. The goats however were not fond of her laughter. A goat began charging at her and bucking her in the back.

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She began crying as I shouted for her to roll off the hill before the goat killed her.  She quickly began log rolling down the hill. When she got her composure, we both began laughing like two nut jobs. We had survived the dogs๐Ÿ•, the hill ๐Ÿ—ปand the goats๐Ÿ.

The walk home was much quicker as we didn’t want anyone to see us looking like victims of a mugging. We got  home just in time for curfew and dinner. I don’t think my mom realize we had left to the sports club as she asked if we were in the back yard playing in mud.

My friend and I occasionally laugh about this day but we had several other crazy adventures like this. This would definitely be rated as the mildest thing to happen to us ๐Ÿ˜‚.

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