Every month when mother nature visits I have this one occurring sex dream. It’s never exactly the same but always some twisted variation of the same theme. If I was superstitious I would definitely believe this was a premonition and I should actively go and find the person to carry out my sick deviant acts with. But I am far from superstitious and sane enough to know it is just a dream. Even though I weirdly seem to only get when Freddy Krueger decides to relentlessly scratch at my uterus walls.
To understand when these dreams started let me take you back to the beginning. I was in high school and living in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I was at the doctor’s office with my sister when all of a sudden the fire alarm went off. There were several other offices in the building so a lot of people were trying to evacuate the building briskly. To this day I am not sure what had triggered the fire alarm. Once we got outside the doctor had asked if we wanted to reschedule the appointment. But my sister and I are nosey, so we wanted to stay and find out if there was an actual fire. Few minutes we heard the fire trucks sirens turning onto the street. The fire truck pulls up and some of the most attractive men I have ever seen exit the fire truck!
These men were on some Abercrombie model level because I promise you my mouth dropped open. I am rarely speechless but Florida firemen got it! (I tend to be attracted to Florida guys so the element of firefighter just added that ounce of danger.) And then the dreams started like clockwork. They come in the peak of my cycle when I have this unexplained heightened sex drive.
The dreams started out mild and simple. I could never see the firefighter’s face but I just knew he was a firefighter. But with the influence of porn and sex the dreams just got crazier. I find myself waking up out of breath like I literally just had sex. Its absolutely crazy. If there are any Dr. Phil’s out there please explain this weird anomaly in my life.
Last night my dream took a huge turn. The dream starts out and I know its my ‘boyfriend/firefighter’ and I one year anniversary. I remember my ride or die Cos was with me at the sex store while I was picking out lube. She was stressing the significance of our first anniversary while we talked about other stuff. The dream scene changes and I’m at the apartment and the ambience is already set. I am in a red sequined bra and thong waiting on him with lit candles all around the room. He enters the apartment but his back is turned to me as he’s pulling in a giant teddy bear. I pulled his helmet from beneath is arm and placed it on my head. This dude turns around and its my freaking Tumblr crush!
The first time my firefighter actually gets an identity and its my Tumblr crush! I definitely spend waaayyy too much time on Tumblr. Of course in my dream, I fucked the shit out of this dude. If it wasn’t going to happen in reality why deny my fantasy this satisfaction. After the sex I typically wake up. Well not this time, the dream continues like it was a sex marathon with the added element that I was born into a supernatural realm of wood nymphs and I was needed to stop forest fires. This dream was definitely DIFFERENT! But shout out to mother nature you fucked up b!tch. Because while you torture my insides in the day, my dreams stay lit in the night.