It’s summer ’09, the summer I will never forget. And you might be wondering why I wont forget. Well I did one thing that entire summer. And that was stalking my next door neighbor. Can you believe it! I was a victim to the crazy stalker syndrome. His looks definitely worthy of my attention but the obsession was crazy and what made it worse I could hardly use actual words with him.
Anyways, I feel like I am getting ahead of myself, let me take you back to the beginning.
His name was Jordan and I’ve known him since we were kids. He was 4 years older than me so we didn’t hang out in the same circles. But he was my neighbor, so every now and then we would acknowledge each others presence. Our families invited each other to family events, so we were familiar with each other. He was really cool and friendly with a skinny nerdy physique. He was a regular skater boy nothing impressionable really stood out in my head. Anyways, his parents had went through an awful divorce and he moved with his mom to a different state. Jordan was probably 12 the last time I saw him. His departure hadn’t impacted me at all. I had the monthly entertainment from his dad with all the floozy women he would bring to the house. A lot of drama took place next door since his mom left. Angry women spray painting expletives on his dad’s BMW, unexpected cop visits and the constant arguments heard. Its a surprise he wasn’t removed from the complex for noise disturbance. Anyways enough about his dad, this story is about Jordan! This is the summer Jordan had returned! It was then that I understood what puberty was suppose to do that it obviously wasn’t doing for me. Jordan was FINEEEE! His glow up left me speechless! What happened to skinny boy Jordan?!! He was ripped! He grew into his godly facial features that had been hidden under baby fat. I was smitten!. Now, I was in high school and he was in college, but for some reason I lost the ability to form a complete sentence when I was around him. When I first realized he was with his dad for the summer, I was with my mom and she greeted him like a long lost son. He said hi to me, but all I could do was nod. Not even freaking wave, I nodded. And I nodded EVERY time he would say hi to me. We can all check off socially awkward for Sharih because it was definitely activated around Jordan. But though I acted weird around him, I wasn’t shy of the dramatics. I knew his daily schedule like a weedhead knows the various strains of kush. His time schedule was so predictable, he always played ball or went to the pool during a specific time frame. So guess who popped up! Of course my crazy ass 🙈lol. If he went to the park to play basketball, I went jogging the same exact time. I walked Dukey (RIP) so many times just so I could see him. Anyways Florida sun is balls hot! I don’t need all that extra sun rays on my melanin rich skin. So I lessened the stalker habits to once a week. Why once a week? Well he would wash his car always on the same day. So this is 30 mins of straight staring at him just washing his car. *face palms* OMG! I was nuts lol. My best friend was such an instigator, she would join me and watch Jordan wash his car. (Only things a best friend would do). So this specific wash day, I thought it would be like any other day. I got the popcorn and binoculars. (The binoculars were definitely not needed but I had them anyways for dramatic effect). So about 5mins into his wash routine, this dude looks up at my room and saw my crazy ass watching him through the windows.
My mouth stuffed with popcorn and binoculars in hand like a certified crazy person. I was praying right then that the popcorn would just choke me. He smiles and waves at me. I AM FUCKING MORTIFIED!!! I am so stunned I got caught that my legs wouldn’t function to move from the window. He leaves and goes in the house and comes out shirtless. *Sploosh* 💦💦Yes that was my pussy because it was wet. His abs were on point! He then looks up and winks at me. My brain had finally caught up with my motor skills because I had moved from the window in a panic. But not before snapping a photo and sending it to my best friend lol.
The stalking did come to an end that day. Plus I found out that he was dating this girl that lived in our housing complex. So that was a mood kill. My only regret that summer was not being able to form two coherent sentences around him. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought I was mental lol.