So I started off my birthday thinking about all the negatives. Mainly about old age! I’m a year closer to being commited to a nursing home👵. Like should I purchase life alert now🚨? Should I move to an apartment that has zero stairs?…I mean my knees could give out at any minute. Do I need to get bengay ointment for the rough sex activities? OMG menopause is literally knocking at the door. What will happen to my sex drive?!?
Obviously I was sipping from the crazy fountain with these thoughts. Rum and birthday cake, that combination should definitely be avoided in a birthday midlife crisis. But then I thought to myself, what the heck!! am I worrying about!
(My what the heck face 😂😂)
Firstly, I’m a unicorn🦄. I’m pretty sure unicorns are immortal. I will be oozing awesomeness til the end of time.
Secondly, I’ve been a vampire since 21. So technically this is my 3yr anniversary from being turned 😂.
Thirdly, black don’t crack🕶. That’s just facts! I’m living in a life preservation body. Lol
Fourthly, happy people don’t age. I just made that up but I’m pretty sure this one counts.
These are four valid reasons why I don’t need to be worried about getting old. I am literally a mystical creature. And to be honest I am happy to have lived another year surrounded by people that I love. Too many lives have been lost within the year for me to be bitchin about being a year older. So I’m extremely happy that I am able to celebrate another birthday in good health. It’s another year to ooze my awesomeness to everyone! 😬 And since I’ve just advertised that I’m immortal 😂 many many many more years of awesomeness to come!