Writing this and I can tell you the hangover force is real. Knocked out the whooole day! I haven’t felt this hammered since this summer’s trip to New Orleans. ( my body literally cringes when I think about drinking a hand grenade). It took me THREE whole days…shit almost a week to recover from NO, I am feeling this might be a repeat of history.
So it’s end of the month, time when you need to splurge a little of the paycheck. So my friends and I thought this week would be the most ideal time to go all out and just party like its the end of time for my birthday. We got a hotel room because it was going to be a whole weekend affair. Starting from Friday to Sunday. The day events were chill. My friend’s boyfriend came with the high grade and a few people were lighting up. I did not partake in this activity even though I probably got a contact high. On Friday I was a little pissed. This guy had promised me he would come through and carry me to the strip club. For whatever reason I think I need ass and tits in my face to have a bomb night. But he ditched me on Friday and said he had to work. Now, we all know I have permanently blacklisted him, since he was also missing on Saturday as well. Anyways that did not ruin my weekend, and that’s another story to share.
The drama did not start until Saturday night. My friend has two boyfriends. Both boys holding the position of main boo and both unaware of the other. I am team one man, not about this polygamous relationship status. Too many lies and the blow up will be deadly. So boyfriend # 1 I’ve known him for a year now. He’s a pretty cool guy, so I do feel bad that he’s in a love triangle he’s completely oblivious to. But its not my place to say anything. So originally we were suppose to go to the club with boyfriend #2 since he had links and we wanted VIP access. Anyways, my friend had an argument with him. For her sake, we now had to strategically navigate the night to avoid boyfriend #2. EPIC FAIL! It wasn’t even midnight and we bumped into boyfriend #2 while bar hopping. Now, I am double fisting long islands and getting in my tipsy zone. The dj was playing a lot of soca. So I was in my zone! My friend was all up on boyfriend #1 when I saw boyfriend #2 tapping on her shoulders. Now, I am instantly on the defense; because I was waiting on the awkward confrontation followed by fists meeting faces. Boyfriend #2 grabs her by the arm, to talk to her privately. But boyfriend #1 was not having it. I am not about to spend my weekend in no jail, so I just grabbed boyfriend #1 and started dancing with him. He was tense and upset and asked if I knew the guy. I said he was suppose to hook us up with the VIP section. Which was not a lie but not the whole truth. As I said its not my place to say anything. Anyways, I don’t know what was said between my friend and boyfriend #2 but apparently he was going to party with us for the rest of the night. TALK ABOUT AWKWARD!! But I am too drunk to really care.
My issue with boyfriend #2; the whole time he was hyping. I understand that he’s popular but its that Sagittarius vibe that was just pissing me off. (I just don’t get along with men in my sign, I have problems with my brother and he’s blood). So we get to the club and he was talking with the bouncer that he was out with his girl and her friends. Can you say slap in the face for boyfriend #1. Boyfriend #1 definitely grew an extra pair of balls because he grabbed my friend by the waist and started kissing her in the neck. That’s when fists started flying! IT WAS A HOT FUCKING MESS! I am pissed with my friend because I knew this shit was going to happen. And I just didn’t understand why she would tell boyfriend #2 to tag along. We haven’t even gotten inside the club and I had to be dealing with this bullshit. In the scuffle, I don’t even understand how someone’s phone got jacked. I heard someone say the cops were coming and I dipped.
Call me the flash because I was 5-8 blocks away from the brawl. There isn’t any reason we all need to be heading to the police station. My friend called my phone and said that she was leaving with boyfriend #1 back to the hotel. Now, I could have gone back with her but they needed the space to discuss their issues, and felt my hovering wasn’t necessary. The rest of my friends and I decided to take the cab and check out this new club. Thank god we did because the music was popping. No VIP section but free complimentary drinks the whole night. I drank like 6 tequila sunrises completely forgetting that I was still trying to process the long islands and tequila shots. Its a miracle I didn’t end up with alcohol poisoning. I am definitely going to need a booze cleanse. Only white wine from now on lol.
Anyways I got to the hotel room and she and boyfriend #1 were passed out in the bed. I don’t know what she said or if she used that pussy power. But I was almost certain it would not end well. It was at this point that I realized my friend is probably a sorceress. To end a disastrous night and STILL! have both boyfriends can only be the work of strong witchcraft lol.