There is always this one break-up that seems to haunt us all. You spend hours wondering where everything went wrong and if the problem can be mended. Is a second chance possible? Do you both still have feelings for each other? But best friends wont allow you to stay in that depressive state. So they find you a rebound. That one nighter, a hit it and quit it, that person that’s suppose to let you forget about the previous relationship.
Well this is when my dilemma started.
About a year ago, I wanted to put myself out there and really be in a stable relationship. I’ve had a lot of short lived relationships and was just tired of none of them being meaningful. So I told my best friend this and she said she was going to hook me up with one of her friends. She knew the type of guys I was attracted to, so I wasn’t worried that her friend wasn’t a decent guy. What she didn’t tell me was that he was just getting out of a 2year engagement. A very vital information she refused to tell me. No one freshly getting out of a very long relationship and calling it quits on their fiancé is looking to enter into another relationship.
Anyways I was unaware of this until half way into our date. He’s an attractive guy, ambitious and knows what he wants in life. On the date he was being all flirty and sexual like his intentions was to end the date with a one-night stand. But I had him at arms-length because I was really just trying to get to know him. I remember we were talking about soccer. Because I was in mid-rant about Messi being the best player. And then he said his ex didn’t like soccer. Now, I am never one to pry but once he brought up his girlfriend its a red flag. No one likes to hear about the previous lover. I tried to brush it off and told him I am not really the typical girl. My interests are just all over the place. Since he brought her up, I asked when did they break up.
He replied, ‘3 months ago, she was my fiancé’
I cant even explain the shock look I had on my face. I sat there thinking shit I am the rebound girl, this is a mess. This question made him feel it was okay to open up to me about their long relationship and what caused the break up. I sat and listened while he vented his problems. Typically this kind of date would annoy me even if I am being nice. But I think once he said he was freshly out of a relationship I just put him in auto drive. I considered him more as a friend than someone to be in a committed relationship with. We both were looking for different things and he’s a pretty decent guy. He realized he was being a mood kill and suggested we should be friends. I said sure because I had already told him I was looking for a stable relationship.
For a year we remained really close friends. Mid-way in all this I slipped into feelings. More like nose dived into my emotions. He had taken me to this drag racing event and my adrenaline level was on high and he was just doing everything right. This one day changed the dynamic of our friendship. I really do regret having that level of intimacy because it really started to fuck with my head.
Anyways in October he started to get distant. Technically we were just friends so I don’t know what I was expecting. He had promised me in advance that he would take me to the strip club for my birthday. I text him reminding him of the events and what I had planned. I knew he travelled a lot and we were friends enough that he would tell me about girls he was dating. So I didn’t understand why the sudden mood swing. Anyways for my birthday he was in Trinidad for that weekend and I told him that this week everybody is getting turnt. He promised he would come through but sent a text apologizing that he would be unavailable. I wont lie I was really upset but nothing could hurt more than what he told me when I called him last night. I wanted to find out if he wanted to get lunch sometime in the week but he was really hesitant in wanting to meet up. So I just asked him what was wrong. He told me that for the past month, he and his ex-fiancé have been trying to work out the relationship. His exact words, “I really want to make this work with her and my friendship with you is confusing”. Did this feel like a stab in the back! Hell yes!! Like a dozen kunai knives pierced my heart. I am never the one to get emotional but when your friend decides that our friendship isn’t worth continuing its a all new low of hurt. Saddest part about it, I only want him to be happy. Sigh…the dark humor the universe throws at me. My not-boyfriend breaks up with me. The sick irony. Another short-lived relationship in which I was trying to avoid.