So after last night’s mid-rant post, all my concerns were answered about my confusion with yesterday and I am actually wishing I had left them in the dark. Because emotionally I don’t really know what to do with the information.
So here’s the cliff notes version of what happened yesterday. I was invited to a family dinner. Wait family dinner is too vague, I was invited to a yearly family New Year event with this guy I’ve been friends with for almost a year now. Initially we started out our relationship trying to be romantic but he apparently had some reservation about things I expected in a relationship and my morals and eventually we just became like good friends. During this time, I knew he talked to other women, had a few side chicks in the mix. So our friendship never got sexual in anyway. But whenever we hung out, its always a great time. He’s the guy friend I know I can hang out with and just genuinely chill. Anyways, now that I met his whole freaking family and they absolutely adore me. I think mid-way in the mix he must have fell into some feelings. And I’m seriously gonna need one of his male friends to come get him life alert because this is not what I needed in my life right now.
Late last night he calls my phone to let me know he appreciated that I was so cool with his family and letting me know that grams said I was always welcome to come over. Now, I was wasting no time with my questions because I was still trying to understand why he invited me. So right off the bat I asked, “why am I the first girl you’ve brought to this event?” I feel like it was even more awkward because I was just meeting his parents for the first time. And he refused to at least warn me on the drive that his whole damn family was going to be there. He stated that “I am really cool and didnt want to freak me out”, “I am a great friend and he wasn’t worried about bringing me to meet his family” . Okay that’s cool and everything but you still have not answered the part about why am I the first girl. He’s always so dodgie with his responses and it fucking infuriates me at times. Like I would like if he was much more upfront with me. So the whole conversation I was badgering him with my questions, just trying to clear the air, so I know we are on the right track as being friends. He’s laughing on the other line thinking I am over analyzing shit but I needed to be sure. So I asked my questions! We ended the conversation talking about FIFA because I wanted to come over his place and play again. I like really sucked at the game so I needed to redeem myself and try again lol.
Anyways this morning I wake up to a confessional text message. Apparently Sunday with his family put shit into perspective for him, he stated that he’s almost 29 and wants to start settling down. And he knows I am a sure thing because of the genuine connection we both have; I know the good, the bad and the ugly and still refuse to judge him on his past. And he knows I am the relationship type and at the time thats not what he was looking for and glad that we still remained friends. But he wants to advance the dynamic of the relationship. I read the text message and just replied “I’ll call you in the afternoon”.
But my initial reaction was…
For a few minutes I was taken back and then I was instantly angry. Like dude you are selfish! When you know someone is awesome, you don’t push them to the side and play with other toys. On multiple occasions, he stated that I wasn’t his type. And I accepted that because it made us awesome friends. But now that you are single with no main or side commitments and I’ve been single, I feel like he was finally taking me from storage out of convenience. Like dude, I was not here single just waiting for you!
I am trying not to ‘over analyze’ the situation but I genuinely feel angry. But there is the side of my brain that thinks I should give this a try. Just based on our history and the events that happened this past weekend. But I just don’t have that romantic connection with him. There are no feelings to even make that transition. [This is what happens when one enters the land of no return aka my friendzone]. He’s already a great guy but he’s gonna have to go above and beyond to convince me that he’s worth my time. I already know he can be a womanizer and I’ve had my heart broken one too many times to have it broken again.
So what do y’all think I should do…
Try and make this work out
Lets just be friends
Tell me what you think in the comment section. Thanks in advance!