*The group text message*
The wedding is off. I apologize to everyone that already bought plane tickets and had invested their time and finances for this day. But [Guy’s name] and I will no longer be getting married August 20,2016. I was holding onto a relationship that was on the rocks. We both want different things and getting married won’t fix our problems…
This one text message caused me so much heartache this morning.😔
So you must be wondering who is Renee. Well Rene is like a big sister to me and a close family friend. I’ve know her for 10 plus years. Renee is the most unfortunate person I know when it comes to finding love. When I was in high school, Renee went through an awful divorce with her first husband. She had invested four years of her life with this man and had two gorgeous girls. But the life she thought she had wasn’t picture perfect. Her husband cheated on her and left her for the side chick he had gotten pregnant. During that time Renee got really sick, she was in and out of the hospital. I was never brave enough to ask her what had happened to her during that time period. But the news that spread amongst family and friends was that her husband had transmitted a sexual disease that was fucking with her immune system. She was sad and depressed for a long while. But Renee is strong and she eventually bounced back. Her situation scared me shitless! I was convinced that all guys weren’t shit. I am no longer hard-set on this belief but there is always a tiny voice in my head that keeps reminding me…
“You can only depend on loving yourself for happiness, niggas ain’t shit Sha-Rih”
Anyways in college, Renee became my close confidant. I could talk to her about anything. I asked her advice on stuff that I was having problems with & told her about my guy issues. In the end of my freshman year Renee had started dating the fiancé. I was suspect of him but Renee was happy and her happiness was all that mattered to me.
For 5 years they lived together as a family. He’s cared for her kids and helped out financially. It wasn’t like he was bumming it with her. Based on the dynamic of their relationship it didn’t feel it was exclusive. In April/May 2015, he proposed to Renee. She’s been the happiest I have ever seen her. I knew she was in love with this guy. I also knew they had their issues but I guess the love wasn’t as mutual as it seemed. For guys that are reading this post I want you to understand this; DONT TAKE AN ENGAGEMENT FOR GRANTED. To a woman in love, the concept of marriage is meant to indicate forever. Ensure that the feeling is mutual before y’all propose to any girl.
Renee’s entire wedding was already planned. Money was already invested into the wedding dresses and rings. A wedding planner hired and invitations already printed and sent out to guests. But as the day of the wedding inches closer, guess who contracts dipshit! Yes the fiancé! He got cold feet in the worse way. He was texting other females and felt like he was being trapped and stated he didn’t want to get married. This is a grown man, not a 20 something year old that’s scared to commit. But the idea of marriage had him wilding out and Renee is the one that felt all the hurt from his actions.
Renee is such a fun and kind spirited person. I don’t understand why any guy she’s with cannot appreciate all the light and love she has to give. She has such a big and beautiful heart that she doesn’t deserve this much heartbreak. She is like family to me. Her pain is my pain. Her hurt Is my hurt. Her situation genuinely breaks my heart.
Now I am sharing this all because I know for many, you may feel the universe is against your happiness. You do your best and for some reason shit just doesn’t go the way you hoped. And no matter how hard you try to make sense of the bad situation, you just don’t understand why all these things happen. You are not alone. There is always someone else; being bullied and ostracized, experiencing heartbreak and loss, struggling financially or on the verge of being homeless. Life’s a bitch and we are all just trying to survive. So stay strong. With inner strength and support from friends and families you can overcome anything!
To end this post I’ll share this song. Keep Holding on by Avril Lavigne.