I’ve been asked multiple times ‘why can’t I do “normal” stuff’. Why don’t you go on normal dates? Why do you love watching foreign films with subtitles? What’s your obsession with gore make-up? I apparently confuse a lot of people because they are trying to understand what’s going on in this big head of mine. But the simple answer I can give is that normal is boring! I am a limited edition of awesomeness!
As a child, I’ve always seen the world for it’s beauty and as my personal playground for my many adventures that I have had and will have. I wanted nothing more than to explore and immerse myself into different cultures and visit new places and try new things. I am not oblivious to the darkness that shadows the world, but I just choose to stay focused on the beauty found within the light. This makes me approachable, unpredictable, crazy, fun and a complete weirdo. I am an anomaly to my environment but in reality I am secretly a unicorn🦄 (shhh don’t tell anyone!).
Do you ever realize that when people don’t understand you, they try to box you into a category. In 6th grade I was teased and called an “oreo”. A word intended to imply that I was a white girl living in a black person’s body. I had just transferred to a prominently black school and my love for rock and indie music was apparently not normal for a black girl. A completely wrong assessment, if anything I was an Asian girl living in a black person’s body lol. I had taken up karate (have not progressed pass a yellow belt lol), started listening to k-pop, interested in Asian history, art and fashion. But I felt that no one really understood me and I was focused on trying to blend in my environment. I stayed at that school for a year, and I didn’t really open up to anyone. I was smart and did my work and that’s all I allowed anyone to really know about me.
My peers failed to understand that I was allowed to have multiple interests. For whatever reason, I was created with a huge imagination and a growing love for learning and trying new things. Stereotypes only go so far with me. I will always be black and a Jamaican but I am allowed to enjoy customs and foods from different cultures, it doesn’t make me less of a black person or Jamaican. I eventually stopped giving a flying fuck what people thought about me. I know I am a good person and as long as I am happy that’s all that matters. If that means I am weirdo then so be it.
So I decided to make this post because of something my mom had said to me and went off on a slight tangent. My mom thinks I need to start being a normal girlfriend for Jake. She would love if I would cook, clean and do my man’s laundry. But I am a product of the 21st century, she basically wants me to start being Jake’s personal maid. She thinks he’ll go find himself a ‘normal’ girlfriend or someone that’s more wifey material. Like what the hell is a normal girlfriend??
Jake is my opposite; he can be a home body. I am the out-going and crazy one, always having him trying new things. Now, this shouldn’t upset me because Jake isn’t complaining about my weirdness. But my mom’s ability to mind fuck has me thinking about my relationship. He literally NEVER knows what to expect from me. I can be sooooo random. Over the weekend I dared him to no porn masturbation for a week, which I am sure he’s cheated on. But I found the most disgusting porn on the internet, like 2girls1cup and whoever heaved like they wanted vomit or looked away from the screen first had to take a shot of vodka. He lost. I thought it would be fun game. We found some really graphic & disgusting stuff that will forever traumatize me. People got some messed up fetishes. Or the time I planned a medieval dinner date. You know those dinner events with a medieval performance and the jousting and you have to eat with your hands. He knows I hate restaurant dates. I don’t know why but I just do. I am sure he thought I would plan a picnic lol. I am always picking up new hobbies. There’s just never a dull moment with me. My level of unpredictability has me thinking that I probably should dial it back. But how does one dial back their awesomeness?? It’s almost impossible.
Then it hits me, my mom’s suggestion took me all the way back to 6th grade. She wanted me to blend in. I am his weird girlfriend. That’s who I am. My weirdness is what makes me different from the next person. So why change a good thing. Plus I take care of my man😏, he ain’t complaining. And if he leaves me for next girl, well that’s his loss. But one thing is for sure! He will forever remember me.