LIOG…Problems Of An Insomniac💤

insomniac; noun 
a person who suffers from insomnia; 
the inability to obtain sufficient sleep 
through difficulty in falling or staying asleep.  

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On average I get a maximum of 4-5 hours of sleep😳. Required sleep time for a normal person is 8 hours. Honestly I could go an entire 48 hours without sleep. Obviously the body was not designed to operate lacking sleep time but for some unknown reason my mind is always on a constant on. This is extremely unhealthy because there are times when I actually get physically sick. And though my body is exhausted I refuse to sleep. I have to be taking melatonin to help my mind play catch up with my body.

I operate on vampire hours. Typically I am up until 4-5am, then I am up by 8am and out the door. My body attempts to shut down around lunch time but I can only assume that’s due to the itis. Heavy and oily foods brings my body in temporary sleep mode. So to remain productive for the rest of the day I tend to have light lunches so this isn’t a daily occurrence. I’m home by 4-5pm and I may or may not take a nap. When the headaches kick in, I’m forced to take the naps. And my body requires sleep, I will be doing active things that forces my body to be exhausted. I go to the gym, have sex, clean the house or partying on the weekend. These are demanding activities and need to be on sleep mode to be fully rejuvenated both mentally and physically. 

As long as I can remember I’ve always had some sleep problems. As a child I would sleepwalk. This isn’t a weird phenomenal, a lot of kids sleepwalk. But I was on some next level sleepwalking. My mom said in the mornings she would always find me in weird places of the house sleeping on the floor. My brother had the worse experience lol. I sleepwalked into his room and straight beat his ass. In the morning my brother had this huge gash on his head because he said I kicked him in the face. He said I was fighting like a ninja for a good 5 minutes before I completely jumped off the bed not moving and then collapsed on the floor. Of course, my mom took my ass to the doctor lol. I don’t recall being medicated but since then I’ve had the hardest time sleeping.

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I’ve read up on several sleep activities. Music therapy; soothing sounds that help one to fall to sleep. Just closing my eyes and relaxing. I will be closing my eyes for a full hour because I am thinking off ideas, what I want to do or plans for the next day. All  my thoughts come flooding in and I feel the need to get up and write them down because I am still full awake. In high school I knew I  was sleep deprived because I was studying and on that road to college grind. But I also maintained swim practices and that  literally drains my entire life force. But I would still find time to play videogames. I refused to go to bed until I unlocked on a new world on Super Mario. I think I lost more sleep in high school than in college. In college I maintained a regular dose of melatonin so that my body wouldn’t crash. College is one place where sleep is definitely needed for sanity.

But I’ve psychoanalyzed myself and this problem has got to be psychological. My need to stay up and read an entire book or binge watch an entire series. I must think I’m going to die by morning and trying my best to do everything while I’m conscious.  I’m always thinking “when I die,what will be my impact to society”, “who will remember me?”, “have I done anything fulfilling?” so I end up wanting to do everything. Trying new activities, new foods and new places. My need to complete and the realization that I need to be awake to accomplish anything is my unhealthy issue. This is my problem as an insomniac.

 

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