“Make sure you bring home a nice & wholesome Christian boy”
The conversation on my current relationship status was something I’ve been avoiding with my mom. I know it seems bad, why would I want to seclude my mom on my love life. Well its simple, she has NO CHILL🙅! Honestly if it was up to her, she would have planned an arranged marriage👰 for me in a heart beat. She’s still trying to marry me off with her church deacon’s son😒. *rolls eyes*. As her baby girl I can understand her wanting nothing but the best for me but I need to find love for myself. This totally sucks for any guy I bring around because they will be entering hostile territory. It’s like a nerve-racking police interrogation and my mom is trying to find some weakness to destroy your entire being. Don’t believe me, well let me tell you about Corey.
I had a major crush on Corey for all of my high school life. In our senior year of high school I finally spoke to him. We texted and talked on the phone a lot! But we were never in a relationship together. The late night calls use to piss off my mom so I would always lie and say its my lab partner and we were discussing homework. *Kids don’t lie to your parents* Anyways, I would have friends come over my house on the weekends. I had a mixed group of friends so both boys and girls. Now I thought I was smart and would just invite Corey and his cousin to my house with my other group of friends. Corey was scared of my dad but what he needed to be afraid of was my mom. That woman sniffed out his fear like a blood hound. When he got to the house, my friend had blurted out that my boyfriend was at the door. I prayed my mom didn’t hear but I am convinced she had cameras in the house. As soon as Corey stepped through the front door he was under constant surveillance. My mom literally pulled him aside and analyzed the shit out of his life. I don’t remember exactly what she said but she basically told Corey that I am going places and I don’t have time to be wasting with him and he’s a distraction to my studies.
I am was so mad and embarrassed. This dude avoided me like I was a leper for the rest of high school. One conversation! And my mom ensured that I was completely off limits.
Next month is my parents’ birthday. My siblings and I thought it would be a cool idea to have a birthday party for them especially since my mom is turning 60 this year. I know my mom would much prefer she had her own party but knowing my dad he’s going to feel some type of way. So we are joining both parties together. Now, I want to bring my boyfriend with me. I am a little reluctant because I don’t bring just anyone around my family. I thought it was best to let my mom in on my love life for Jake’s safety. I wanted her to be aware so that she’ll filter her thoughts. Wishful thinking on my part but I need her to be on her best behavior because I really like Jake.
She promised she wont do anything drastic, but only if he passed her checklist. So I wanted to be prepared but her expectations have me internally freaking out!
Inner thoughts: ummm his parents are Catholic, does that count?😳
◊ NO TATTOOS
Inner thoughts: I’ve been hiding my tats for years😳, he’ll be fine in a long sleeved shirt
◊ NO PIERCINGS
Inner thoughts: Am I with a bad boy?😳
◊ Good Credit? ◊ What are his long term goals? ◊ Where do you fit into his life? ◊ Will he give me grandchildren? ◊ Does he drive? ◊ Own his own place? ◊ What mental illness if any runs in his family?
The questions continued and I could feel myself slowly entering into a mini panic attack. This initial meet up will probably be a complete fuck fest!
But if Jake can complete this hurdle and stay with me. One thing is for sure and that is I will never question his love for me.