LIOG…Wanting to Belong🤗

WE ARE SOCIAL BEINGS!

That’s what make us humans. We interact. We communicate. And we co-exist together in this fucked up place called Earth. In a utopic environment it would be great if we all got along peacefully. No violence. No malice. No wars. Just in a place of complete peace and serenity. But that’s wishful thinking. We live in a place filled with different personalities. With these differing personalities we wont all get along and understand the other. But it would be great if we’d respect each other. There’s no need to bully or kill another person for being different because we are all just trying to seek the same thing.

What are we trying to seek?🤔

Well, we are all trying to find a place where we belong. To be around people who understand us. To be liked and to be accepted as a part of a whole. No one likes rejection or seclusion. It just isn’t apart of our social nature. So we are constantly seeking approval from individual around us. From our boss, our parents, partner and friends. There is nothing wrong with having a core group of people that their opinions are valued and respected. But during this process of being liked and belonging, many of us sell our souls to the devil. Good girls become mean girls just to sit with the popular kids. Good boys smoke and drink at an early age just to hang with the cool kids. All to be apart of the hype.

But here’s the hard truth! Not everyone will fucking like you! That’s just life! It’s one thing to re-invent your image to be a better person, and its a completely different thing to lose your specialness to be someone that you are not.

*inserts storytime*

 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

I went to a new prep school in fourth grade. Being the new kid it’s easy to create a new image especially to gain new friends. I’m really nerdy and a good girl at heart. On my orientation day before official classes, my teacher had recommended I join the Spelling Bee club. I had no apprehensions about joining the club. I’ve already done so many extracurricular activities it was just another one to add to the list.  As fresh meat into a new school I was quickly accepted by the cool girls. They made me feel welcomed and I thought I could fit in with these girls. On the second day I knew deep down that I did not belong. They were soooo mean to this kid named Javed in the Spelling Bee club. Javed wore the thickest prescription glasses ever! He was so smart but verrry nerdy looking. Those girls dragged his soul to hell and back! I stood there silently as they insulted his life. I am ashamed of myself that I didn’t stand up for him. But the fear of losing new friends was much greater than I’d anticipated. I did not join the Spelling Bee club. I purposely began falling behind in my school work and I was very disruptive. Someone that has never had a bad record ever, was chilling in detention. But I was apart of the cool kids; younger kids thought I was cool and the bigger kids acknowledged me as cool. But it was all a façade. The person I was becoming was disgusting and ugly.  My mom was convinced she was wasting her money paying my tuition if I wasn’t learning anything. The drastic decline in my grades caused so much conflict between my mom and I. But with all inner struggles there’s always that one incident to bitch slap you back to reality.

I will never forget this day because it was lunch time and the weather was dark and gloomy but the bright yellow flowers from the poui tree brighten up the place as if the sun was out. The popular kids would always eat lunch under this specific gazebo. It was our  designated spot. But earlier in the day, rain had fallen so not many places to eat but the cafeteria and the gazebos. Most of the gazebos were packed with people but the fear of our group made many avoid sitting under ‘our gazebo’. But Javed must have missed that memo because he was sitting in ‘our spot’. There was more than enough space for him to sit and eat in peace. But Ashley G (head of the group) felt his presence was a nuissance. They ran him from the gazebo like a rabid dog. Javed being a loner just began gathering his stuff but Ashley S felt he was moving too slow and pushed his bookbag unto the floor into the muddy puddle. That’s when I lost it! That was the last straw. I read each and everyone of them into a box. I had burnt a permament bridge with those girls. No way they would welcome me back in that group. I do regret ending things on such awful terms with those girls but I knew that they were friends I didnt want in my life.

Since that day I’ve had lunch with Javed everyday. We weirdly had a lot in common. He was so passionate about astronomy and meterology and he would ramble about things I didnt understand.  He was a cool guy, its so sad that he was judged and treated badly because he didn’t fit into the checklist that made someone cool. But he didnt change himself, he loved who he was.

We need to realize that who we are is good enough. If you have to change yourself drastically to be liked or to belong to the point that when you look in the mirror you don’t even recognize your own reflection then its not worth it. Be around people that accept you for all your quirks and love it.

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