I’ve been obsessed with the snapchat filters! I could write a loooong post about my current obsession. But I wont today lol .
With everything that’s happened this past week. This photo made me realize how sad and hurt I am on the inside.
It’s a simple photo. I’m smiling and seem quite pleasant. Rocking my dashiki shirt that I got from my Nigerian friend. Obviously thinking I’m a goddess using the flowered headpiece filter.
But its all in the eyes.
Behind my brown eyes, there is an immensurable amount of pain. I am an empty shell to my environment. I smile but what’s a smile if its fake.
It’s Disingenuous. It’s a façade. It’s a magic trick to convince everyone around that I’m fine.
But my eyes. My brown eyes they don’t lie. That light. That light that brings joy and happiness is nothing but a dim flicker as I try to mend my broken heart. I’m tired and exhausted. Worn out from all the drama.
My mother always said I should be strong. As a woman. As a black woman. I need to pick myself up through adversities and hold my head high. To exuberate confidence and demand respect. So that’s exactly what I will do.
Life isn’t suppose to be a Sunday stroll in the park. It comes with heartbreaks, failures and losses. And though I am hurting, time will heal my wounds. I am strong. I am phenomenal. I deserve the best.
So this is for my ‘love’…
I may seem strong.
I may seem all together.
But I’m as fucked up as the rest of the world.
Far from perfect but I am the best fit to complete you.
My heart isn’t brand new.
It has cracks and tears.
But its the only gift I have to give you.
So please handle with care