*types that nervously*
I’m back for now….I had so many summer ideas planned for my blog that can no longer happen.😔
I cant believe I’ve been on a hiatus for almost two months. I’ve missed the comfort of just escaping into the blogging world. For all my followers I am determined to catch up on all your stories I’ve missed out on. For the people that actually read my blog I am sorry, wish I could say that I’ll do better but my life is in a chaotic period and work is the biggest stress factor.
*Caution: Expletives will be inserted throughout the continuity of this post*
Work. Fucking Work!
I promised myself that I would never mix work into any of my blog posts but I need to make an exception. So many things need to be vented out!
Before entering the working world I knew it would be stressful. I wont get along with everyone. Multiple days I would like nothing but to tell all my coworkers to fuck off 🖕and days when I don’t even want to be at work. But after much self-reflection, I am under more stress than anything else and need to remove myself from this environment. Recently, I went to get a medical check-up and was told my blood pressure is high. There is currently only one stress factor in my life and that is my job.
So what is it that I do? I work as a Chemist for a small pharmaceutical company. I generally work in the lab as a Chemical Analyst but recently I’ve been working as a Production Chemist. Why this shift in department. The company does not know how to 1.) Treat their fucking employees and 2.) Management system is absolute shit! 😠
Now, I’m at a breaking point in which I am ready to be like…
Did you catch that breaking bad reference lol, I might as well make use of this science background. Don’t worry I’m just kidding about entering the drug game…well maybe….I do have what it takes to be about that trap life lol.
Just to clarify I don’t hate my career choice. Doing my job does not stress me out, its the people around that stresses me out. My environment is toxic to my healthy and I am slowly losing my sanity.
Earlier in the year there was a huge power struggle at work. Senior staff and the boss in constant dispute. I don’t know why people bring so many emotions in the workplace, I see it as a serious hindrance. In April, about seven people left the company, 3 were senior positions held by individuals working with the company for over 10 years. I wont get in the details of why individuals left and were fired. But it was messy! Lawyers and lawsuits etc. That just meant for the remaining employees shit was going to hit the fan! The first stress factor was the constant overtime hours that was becoming a regular thing. My work hours are from 8:30-5pm, and typically I would leave the latest 7pm. But since so many senior chemists have left, for the newer individuals like myself have to be playing catch-up. Work hours will be extending until 10-11pm, and it fucking ridiculous because they released some bullshit ultimatum about being at the work station at exactly 8:30am. After leaving work fucking 11pm at night if I show up at fucking 8:40am just dock that shit from my pay and don’t ask why I’m fucking 10mins late! Recently I feel like I am in a day prison. They don’t believe in negotiating or talking to their employees like human beings. I wonder how they expect to expand and grow their company under these emotional circumstances. There are so many issues with the management that I am extremely disappointed. I believed in their “core values” and wanted to be apart of their expansion project with Research & Development. But I honestly no longer see myself apart of their vision. Everyday its a fucking issue and they use lies to mask their mistakes. Each department in the company is struggling. It makes my head hurt just thinking about it.
The next factor are the men. I work in a predominantly male environment. And that’s a fucking struggle. I’ve become a constant source of love drama. Everyday there is some damn rumor that I’m this person’s girlfriend. It’s like they’ve decided to live in some fanfic they’ve created about me and them. It’s okay to have a crush on a coworker but its reached a point that I am ANNOYED! If I say something to one of those guys it fuels the rumors and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable talking with the person.
Last month at lunch in the break room, I was specifically asked this question by one of the guys that has a crush on me.
“I like you, are you single?”
He did this publicly as more people were in that area and were all listening intently to hear my response. So I took use of this opportunity and said,
“I don’t eat, where I shit”
He looked at me puzzled and I replied,
“I don’t believe in office relationships and my current status is none of your business”.
I thought this would be enough to end this crap until another coworker approached me about giving this guy a chance and how he’s a good dude. I’m ruining his life blah blah blah.
A bunch of annoying bullshit!
This is the stuff that stress me out. I have coworkers trying to play cupid and all up in the affairs of my life and my boss’s business decisions causing me to lose sleep at night.
I think it’s time to look for a new job. I’m 24 and I’m not trying to go bald from stress.